After a very frustrating hour on the phone with Mark, then Carlos, Mark’s supervisor, I’m no closer to understanding your magic math that makes $15.95 = $23.90.

I’m moving and taking on a roommate. I currently have a double play package for cable and internet for $79.99. In my new apartment, where I am transferring my account, I would like to take advantage of the triple play package that fits me best, which is $99.99 per month.

I currently have a digital cable box. I do not pay anything for it as it is included in my package.

For my new service, I would also not pay anything for this digital cable box, as it is included in the NEW package as well. I asked Mark how much it would cost me to add a DVR cable box for my roommate. He quoted me $15.95. That’s fine, about what I expected to pay. Everything was going smoothly. We settled on an install date and he informed me that the cable install would be free since it’s a transfer (YAY!), but that I would still have to pay a $75 install fee for the Internet and Phone service. *sigh* Fine, I can deal. Still cheaper than new service.

So, at the end of the order, Mark runs through what my monthly bill will be, as he is supposed to. I will interject here and say that Mark was fantastic. I work in Call Center Technologies so I know a good CSR when I hear one.

Mark: $99.99 for the Triple Play
Me: Check
Mark: $5.00 for your internet equipment lease
Me: Yup, got it
Mark: $15.95 for the DVR box
Me: Totally. On board.
Mark: various taxes and fees for TV and phone service
Me: Completely expected, I’m with you.
Mark: $7.95 for the Digital box
Me: Whoa. Wait a minute!!!

So, he explained to me that adding an advanced feature box to my plan makes THAT box my primary and so the digital box that I currently have becomes secondary and now requires me to pay for it.
I asked to speak with his supervisor and reach Carlos. In this conversation with Carlos, I learned that it is simply standard Comcast customer service to create disincentives for me to want to purchase more products from you.

See, the package I want installed includes:
Digital Starter Cable Package
Digital Tuner Box (for On-Demand etc)
Digital Telephone Service
Cable Internet

All for the very reasonable and even attractive price of $99.99

I want to add a Comcast product that costs $15.95 to this package, resulting in one Digital Tuner Box and one Tuner with DVR. Reason states that my new total would be $115.94, plus everything else up there. I’m fine with that. That is totally what I’m wanting. Value paid for value received. However, that’s not what I’ll be paying. See, Comcast has rigged the game. I am now expected to pay $7.95 extra for a product and service that is included for free today. Carlos explained to me, during the hour the poor chap had to listen to my pleas for explanation, that once an advance box is added to the service, I forfeit the Digital box that is included with my package. In order to have the Digital box that I get for free as part of the package today, I now have to pay $7.95 for the unit price of that digital box. Now, my package price is not being reduced by $7.95, of course. It’s still $99.99. I would completely understand this if I were choosing to forgo my digital box in favor of a more advanced featured box like a DVR or HD tuner. That makes sense. I have made a choice not to partake in a part of the service I have been offered, in favor of a premium.

Restated, if I were to only have the DVR tuner and NOT a Digital box on my service, I would expect to pay the $115.94 that Comcast would charge me because I have chosen to give up the lesser free item, in favor of the premium one, the unit price of which is $15.95.

If I wanted to only add the DVR box to the full package that I have been offered for $99.99, I would ALSO expect to pay $115.94, but, in actuality, I must pay $123.89 because Comcast has now decided that something that was free in a package price must now be paid as a separate unit.

However, if I only wanted to add another Digital tuner box to the one that I already have, resulting in two, I would only pay $7.95 more per month ($107.94). I would NOT have to pay for BOTH Digital boxes because the first is included in the package!

It is the same as this scenario:

McComcast: Welcome to McComcast! may I take your order?
Me: Yes, I’d like a Quarter Burger with Cheese value meal.
McComcast: That will be $4
Me: I’d like to add a Big Com. How much is a Big Mac?
McComcast: A Big Mac costs $2.50.
Me: Cool. One Quarter Burger with Cheese Meal and one Big Com.
McComcast: That will be $8, sir.
Me: But $4 and $2.50 = $6.50. Where do you get $8?
McComcast: Well, the Big Com is a more advanced sandwich that the Quarter Burger, so it becomes your primary burger. You pay the package price of $4 for the value meal, and then you add the cost of the Big Com, and then you add $1.50 for the Quarter Burger, which is now your secondary burger.
Me: Soooo … Since I want to purchase MORE of your service and products, and I’m willing to pay the price you quoted me, $2.50, you have decided that I’m not paying you enough “more” and want to create ill-will and destroy incentive to buy more of your products?
McComcast: Yes.
Me: What if I just wanted another Quarter Burger?
McComcast: Oh, well, since that is not an advanced sandwich, you would only pay an extra $1.50 for the second Quarter Burger – a total of $5.50.
Me: Why? How does that make sense?
McComcast: Because that’s the way it’s always been done. (which is what Carlos told me)

By making the DVR box the primary, Comcast has not reduced the package price by $7.95, nor is the FIRST DVR box a lower or discounted price than any subsequent DVR box, so there’s no benefit there. It’s all one big scheme to squeeze another $100/year per customer out of their install base.

I don’t believe I’m the only person who has ever complained about this. I’ve been a Comcast customer for over 10 years (although some of that time was under my ex-wife’s name), and this is the first time I’ve truly felt ill-treated by Comcast. I feel that this policy is unjust and, frankly unethical. What’s truly wonderful is that, in my living situation, Comcast is my only choice for subscription television and Internet, leaving me with little choice but to take my position on the proctology table so that you can extract every last cent you can from my wallet.

I know it is only $8/month, but the principle of it drives me crazy. Either the Digital converter is a value-add, in which case it is part of the package, or it is charged by the unit price, which means the package should be reduced by $7.95/month.

This does not give me any faith in your treatment of your customers.

I have been reading Lana and Lois Charlotte’s Web off and on for several months (we take many breaks from it so that they can read on their own at bedtime or have different stories read to them). We are nearly finished, only two chapters to go. We stopped there tonight because we only had time for one chapter and I didn’t want the spider’s death to be the last thing they heard before they went to bed.

After I closed the book, we looked back through to see what words Charlotte had written (Some Pig, Terrific, Radiant and Humble). There was some question of whether Terrific was in the book since Lana didn’t remember it and had just seen it in the live-action movie adaptation. Lois asked me what Humble and Radiant meant.

When BatMom and I lived together, we had a small pocket dictionary that we often used when such questions arose. A few years back, we had picked up the New Webster’s 1924 dictionary, one of those giant beasts that generally reside on a pedestal stand, for a mere $3 from the local library’s used book sale. BatMom took the pocket dictionary with her, as she had had it since college.

Left with no other options (I don’t like using the internet for definitions with the kids because navigating a dictionary is a useful skill to have), I pulled out the beast and looked up Radiant (having the girls talk me through each letter as we located it). We determined that of the noun and adjective versions, we were looking for the adjective because, as Lois said, “it describes something.” We decided that Wilbur didn’t emit beams of light as in the first sense, but he did beam with vitality and happiness as in the second sense.

I had Lana look up Humble and we decided that Wilbur is, in fact, of low opinion of himself, and not boastful, as in the first sense, at least when there aren’t people around and he has to try to live up to Charlotte’s descriptions. In addition, he’s also “low to the ground” because, in Lana’s words, “he’s short.”

Then, for fun, I pointed out that the dictionary was from 1924. One of the first pages is the Arms of the British Empire and Her Colonies. I read off some of the names of those colonies (“Hey, those are Australian states!” – Lana had an Australia unit in class last year) and pointed out that many of the others were the provinces of Canada. I then had to explain the concept of a colony. I asked Lana if Australia was a colony or its own country. She replied “It’s a country” and then I asked about Canada. “I don’t know. I think it’s a country?” So in 1924, neither Australia, nor Canada, were independent countries.

I asked both girls if they had the internet in 1924. They both agreed that the didn’t because they didn’t have computers. I looked up Internet and failed to find it between internecine and interneural. I decided to look up “computer” since that’s why they didn’t have the Internet. Along the way, we came across “circuit” which Lana knew from science class was a component of electricity, electronics and computers. We read that definition and found the proper sense in the last entry.

From this we determined that there was no Internet, but there was electricity in 1924. We moved on toward computer and found compute and computist (“one especially skilled at computation” which was the then-new term for accountant … I guess it didn’t take), but no computer.

I asked about television. They again agreed that there was no television, so we looked it up and went from telephony (my current career) to telfan. Nope, no TV.

Radio? They couldn’t agree on this one. I believe Lana was anti and Lois was pro. So we looked. We ended up on the same page as Radiant, of course, and while radio was there, it was only in the geometric sense. So no radio… I know Tesla and Marconi invented the radio before the turn of the century, but they were not in homes yet, it seems.

How about cars? Cars was there, but it referred to train cars, chariots of war and baskets for transporting lobster and crabs (!!!). Well, how about automobile? Sure enough, there was automobile, and there was an illustration page with many standard models of car of the time (like the Electric Brougham? and the Limosine and the speedster and coupe and touring coupe). They, of course, look nothing like the cars of today.

I pointed out that the dictionary was put together by people to contain all the words that were important for people to know. And if something didn’t exist at the time, it, by extension, wouldn’t be in the dictionary.

“So, there really was no such thing as a lazy day? The kids would HAVE to go outside to play with their friends?”Lana asked.

That one worried me a little…

So after a brief discussion of farm life, and particularly farm life for a young girl, and the much larger family size (“I don’t WANT six more brothers and sisters!”), and why kids WEREN’T lucky to stop going to school in sixth grade, they decided that they were pretty happy to be living now instead of 85 years ago.

Even though they stayed up 40 minutes past bedtime for this, I’m glad of it. It allowed me to recognize fulfilling my and BatMom’s parenting philosophy, which I think is also part of her teaching philosophy: “Create an Environment of Satisfied Curiosity.” I hated being told to stop asking questions when I was a kid. Since this usually came when I reached the limits of my dad’s knowledge on something, I didn’t learn that “I don’t know” is a valid answer. This is information I want my children to have. “I don’t know” is an indicator that you still have more to learn, no matter how smart you are, that you have a new area to explore, that no one knows every answer. This is especially important for Lois to know as she enters Kindergarten this fall.

And it was fun.

And, for the record, I don’t want to live in 1924 either. It’s fun to visit, but I’m thankful to be living in the future!

In the context of a different conversation, I off-hand mentioned Obi-Wan. This led to the most unintentionally funny interpretation of Star Wars I’ve ever heard (funnier even than than the one I posted before). Please know that I don’t post this out of malice, but because it is funny, and that I don’t think she’s not intelligent or anything just because she misremembers Star Wars. I know a lot of geeks who would think that way, but I want it clear that I’m not one of them. Enjoy. (reposted from my facebook)

(10:00:56 AM) MisterBixby: no, but thank you. I think I need to walk this path on my own
(10:01:04 AM) MisterBixby: without an Obi-Wan for a while
(10:01:16 AM) Daisy the Fairy: Obiones are GOOD
(10:01:46 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yodas are good look how wis eYoda was and he told hans solo and princess leah and darth all how to live and be happy!!
(10:02:10 AM) MisterBixby: ??? He never talked to han solo or princess leia
(10:02:22 AM) Daisy the Fairy: oh?
(10:02:31 AM) Daisy the Fairy: im sure he did at soem point
(10:02:31 AM) MisterBixby: no hehe
(10:02:43 AM) Daisy the Fairy: in 4 movies they crossed paths somewhere!!
(10:02:53 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and he imparted his little green wisdom
(10:03:32 AM) Daisy the Fairy: YES because in that one movie he showed hans solo how to sword fight and called him grasshopper whcih I thought was weird caus HE is the green one
(10:03:35 AM) MisterBixby: … Han and Leia were in three movies, only two of which contained Yoda, who never left Dagobah, while Leia and Han never went to Dagobah
(10:03:46 AM) MisterBixby: ok, now you’re putting me on!
(10:04:22 AM) Daisy the Fairy: huh?
(10:04:41 AM) MisterBixby: goofball
(10:04:49 AM) MisterBixby: have you ever even seen the movies?
(10:05:41 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yes!!
(10:06:19 AM) Daisy the Fairy: except the last one in the catch up ones where hans goes all the way darth
(10:06:23 AM) Daisy the Fairy: not that one
(10:06:27 AM) Daisy the Fairy: but the others !!
(10:06:35 AM) Daisy the Fairy: i even went to a CONVENTION
(10:06:50 AM) Daisy the Fairy: it was my first vacation with jay
(10:06:52 AM) MisterBixby: ok … you know that han solo is not darth vader right? Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker…
(10:07:16 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and we left halfway through cause ror and mark were just standing in line all day waiting for autograhs
(10:07:23 AM) MisterBixby: I think you meant that Yoda told Anakin and Padme (Luke and Leia’s parents) how to be happy
(10:07:46 AM) Daisy the Fairy: right but anikan grew up to be hans solo and then by soem dark magick he turned into darth right?
(10:08:05 AM) MisterBixby: wow… no
(10:08:10 AM) Daisy the Fairy: no?
(10:08:13 AM) MisterBixby: no
(10:08:21 AM) MisterBixby: Han Solo is half his age.
(10:08:30 AM) MisterBixby: well, a little more than half.
(10:08:37 AM) MisterBixby: He’s a friend of Darth Vader’s SON
(10:08:59 AM) Daisy the Fairy: well then ..huh.. who did hans solo turn into/
(10:09:18 AM) MisterBixby: Han Solo
(10:09:30 AM) MisterBixby: Not HANS. It’s HAN
(10:09:37 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and what happened to annikan, annikan is that little boy who was princess leahs son right?
(10:09:39 AM) MisterBixby: Are you kidding me with all of this?
(10:09:43 AM) Daisy the Fairy: ?
(10:09:52 AM) MisterBixby: seriously!
(10:09:59 AM) MisterBixby: Princess Leia doesn’t have a son
(10:10:09 AM) MisterBixby: not in the movies anyway
(10:10:21 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yes little anikan!!
(10:10:40 AM) MisterBixby: you know that the three movies that came out in the 90s are PREQUELS to the ones that came out in the 70s, right? They happened BEFORE the Luke and Leia movies?
(10:11:19 AM) Daisy the Fairy: because princess Leah got killed by thos monsters in a tent after her pplanet blew up
(10:11:32 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and then somehow she was back.. how did hat happen?
(10:13:44 AM) MisterBixby: Little Anakin grows up to be Anakin, who falls in love with Padme. Anakin falls to the dark side after getting Padme pregnant. Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Padme dies in childbirth after giving birth to Luke and Leia. Luke is sent to be raised by his uncle, Leia is raised as a princess on another planet. Vader doesn’t know he has children. Luke grows up on Tattooine and meets Obi-Wan who trains him in the force, and begins to teach him how to become a Jedi. Luke and Obi-Wan meet Han Solo and Chewbacca and they all rescue Princess Leia. Luke then learns that Vader is his father. He goes to finish his training with Yoda. Then Luke redeems his father, reverting him to Anakin and they kill the emporer
(10:14:01 AM) MisterBixby: That was Shmi, Anakin’s Mother.
(10:14:03 AM) MisterBixby: NOT LEIA
(10:14:12 AM) MisterBixby: Who is Anakin’s DAUGHTER
(10:14:17 AM) MisterBixby: you are serious?
(10:14:19 AM) MisterBixby: really?
(10:17:46 AM) Daisy the Fairy: wait no THAtS all wrong maybe we are talking about a different star wars movie??
(10:18:14 AM) MisterBixby: HAHAHA ROFLMAO!
(10:19:55 AM) Daisy the Fairy: seriously
(10:20:01 AM) Daisy the Fairy: i remeber it all different
(10:20:03 AM) Daisy the Fairy: huh
(10:20:22 AM) Daisy the Fairy: whos padme ?
(10:20:47 AM) Daisy the Fairy: was she the young version of princess leah? natalie portman one with the hats?
(10:20:50 AM) MisterBixby: The girl that little Anakin loves…
(10:21:07 AM) MisterBixby: Yes, Natalie Portman (IS NOT THE YOUNG VERSION OF LEIA!)
(10:21:14 AM) Daisy the Fairy: uh huh
(10:21:23 AM) MisterBixby: She’s Leia’s MOTHER!
(10:22:13 AM) Daisy the Fairy: iwhat? no leah was an orophan??
(10:22:30 AM) MisterBixby: OK, I know that it may not be nice, but I am DYING here! This is like me trying to describe the pantheon of pagan deities to you. I know names, but have NO idea who they relate to
(10:22:31 AM) Daisy the Fairy: she does not ahve a mother she was rAISED BY THOSE CUTE ROBOTS
(10:22:42 AM) MisterBixby: OMFG
(10:23:27 AM) MisterBixby: no, she was raised by Bail Organa on Alderaan. She owns R2-D2 and C-3PO
(10:23:41 AM) Daisy the Fairy: AND THAT LUKE HE WAS RAISED IN A BAR THAT WHARE HANS SOL FOUND HIM.. i REMEBER thaT SCEANE
(10:23:59 AM) Daisy the Fairy: THERE WA SA BRAWL
(10:24:11 AM) Daisy the Fairy: WE HAD A LITTLE ACTION FIGRE SET UP AT HOME
(10:24:33 AM) MisterBixby: Luke was raised on a moisture farm (on a desert planet they have to extract water on farms) and he GOES TO a bar, with Obi-Wan and that’s where they meet Han Solo. (NOT HANSSSS)
(10:25:20 AM) Daisy the Fairy: no thats not right…
(10:25:35 AM) MisterBixby: yes. yes it is
(10:26:25 AM) Daisy the Fairy: nooooo..ohh wait yes it is
(10:26:41 AM) Daisy the Fairy: because he fell from the sky right? cause HIS planet exploded
(10:26:50 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and his mom sent hm away like moses
(10:26:54 AM) Daisy the Fairy: whoosh
(10:26:59 AM) Daisy the Fairy: I remeber now!!!
(10:27:23 AM) Daisy the Fairy: so the farmers were his adopted parents
(10:27:46 AM) MisterBixby: fell from the sky? What movie did you see?!
(10:28:11 AM) MisterBixby: Just so you know. I am SAVING this conversation and WILL BE sharing it with Jason the very next time I see him
(10:29:18 AM) Daisy the Fairy: no remebr that the planet expoded and his mom sent him off on a rocket??
(10:29:31 AM) MisterBixby: That’s SUPERMAN!
(10:29:35 AM) Daisy the Fairy: huh?
(10:29:39 AM) Daisy the Fairy: is it?
(10:29:51 AM) Daisy the Fairy: no im sure I can picture it its Luke AND lAURA
(10:29:59 AM) MisterBixby: yes. Krypton exploded, his parents sent him to Earth in a rocket.
(10:30:11 AM) MisterBixby: No, it is Jor-El and Lara.
(10:30:21 AM) Daisy the Fairy: HUH
(10:30:24 AM) Daisy the Fairy: WELL..
(10:30:24 AM) MisterBixby: Lots of shimmery silver? White hair?
(10:30:37 AM) Daisy the Fairy: BUT lUCKE WAS STILl ADOPTED AND RAISE DIN A BAR YOU said
(10:30:43 AM) Daisy the Fairy: YEAH AND A SWORD
(10:31:51 AM) MisterBixby: he was NOT raised in a bar, he was raised on a farm
(10:32:18 AM) Daisy the Fairy: I think it was a bar hun i REMEBER the fight sceane with all those one eyed desert catpeople???
(10:32:24 AM) Daisy the Fairy: i think they raised him no?
(10:32:46 AM) MisterBixby: WTF?
(10:32:59 AM) MisterBixby: No. nothing like that happene.d
(10:33:42 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yeah.. those catpeople
(10:34:02 AM) MisterBixby: there are no cat people
(10:35:45 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yes there are they massacre people all over the place they have glowy cat eyes
(10:36:16 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and they killed Leah that first time when she was annikans mom???DUH!
(10:36:38 AM) MisterBixby: Leah was never anakin’s mom
(10:36:42 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and apprently raised Luke in that bar
(10:36:49 AM) MisterBixby: you’re killing me
(10:37:27 AM) Daisy the Fairy: well i dont know I think maybe I watched a different version. was there ever a remake??
(10:37:47 AM) MisterBixby: no
(10:37:49 AM) MisterBixby: never a remake
(10:37:58 AM) MisterBixby: there are six movies
(10:38:01 AM) Daisy the Fairy: maybe there was one you don’t KNOW about???
(10:38:28 AM) MisterBixby: you have somehow morphed all of them into some crazy time-travel resurrection cat-people superhero space adventure movie
(10:38:30 AM) Daisy the Fairy: well I don’t know how you could have had it all wrong
(10:38:41 AM) MisterBixby: ROFLMAO!
(10:39:03 AM) Daisy the Fairy: seriously well art is open to interprtation
(10:39:08 AM) Daisy the Fairy: :p
(10:39:10 AM) MisterBixby: There are NO Star Wars movies I don’t know about
(10:39:20 AM) MisterBixby: THIS IS NOT INTERPRETATION! THIS IS JUST WRONG!
(10:39:24 AM) Daisy the Fairy: there might be
(10:39:43 AM) MisterBixby: no.
(10:39:47 AM) MisterBixby: no there isn’t
(10:39:50 AM) MisterBixby:
(10:39:56 AM) Daisy the Fairy: Could be
(10:40:12 AM) MisterBixby: trust me on this, please. There are not star wars movies I don’t know about
(10:40:30 AM) Daisy the Fairy: Someone could ahve made an INDEPENDANT star wars movie,
(10:40:45 AM) MisterBixby: honey …. no
(10:40:49 AM) Daisy the Fairy: maybe we got a bootleg copy!!
(10:40:59 AM) MisterBixby: OMG
(10:41:10 AM) MisterBixby: I’m calling Jason. Give me his number. This is crazy talk
(10:41:52 AM) Daisy the Fairy: ########## dont post his # he wuill back me up
(10:42:16 AM) MisterBixby: I’m kidding. I’m not going to call him… But I AM sending him this conversation
(10:42:33 AM) Daisy the Fairy: hell back me up!!
(10:42:43 AM) MisterBixby: I can’t wait to hear it
(10:42:48 AM) Daisy the Fairy: i swear you are all wrong on this
(10:43:06 AM) Daisy the Fairy: So much of star wars was about reincarnation and resserection
(10:43:12 AM) MisterBixby: OK. I eagerly wait the illuminating light of knowledge
(10:43:22 AM) Daisy the Fairy: I can’t believe you missed those very importent themes
(10:43:31 AM) Daisy the Fairy: :-*
(10:43:45 AM) MisterBixby: Not reincarnation and no one ever gets ressurrected, although they do talk to the ghosts of the dead
(10:43:53 AM) Daisy the Fairy: SEEEE??
(10:44:11 AM) Daisy the Fairy: szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! that is me doing that sizzle finger thing!
(10:44:17 AM) Daisy the Fairy: cause I scored!!
(10:44:21 AM) MisterBixby: All six movies are the story of a fallen hero and his redemption
(10:44:33 AM) MisterBixby: no one is ressurrected. How did you score?
(10:44:53 AM) Daisy the Fairy: I was right
(10:45:02 AM) MisterBixby: about what?
(10:45:21 AM) Daisy the Fairy: reincarnation
(10:45:25 AM) MisterBixby: There is nothing in this conversation that you have been right about
(10:45:32 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yuh huh!
(10:45:43 AM) MisterBixby: reincarnation is the same spirit in a new body. That never happens anywhere in these movies
(10:47:02 AM) Daisy the Fairy: YES! the whole Leah Pattyme thing
(10:47:05 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and luke!!
(10:47:47 AM) MisterBixby: Leah and Padme are NOT the same person
(10:47:56 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yes they are too
(10:48:00 AM) MisterBixby: Leah was born before Padme died.
(10:48:04 AM) Daisy the Fairy: nah
(10:48:14 AM) MisterBixby: @WHAT DO YOU MEAN “NAH”?!
(10:48:16 AM) MisterBixby: YES!
(10:48:19 AM) Daisy the Fairy: NO!
(10:48:22 AM) MisterBixby: Padme is Leah’s MOTHER
(10:48:30 AM) Daisy the Fairy: oh for heavens sake
(10:48:36 AM) Daisy the Fairy: you need to rewatch i think
(10:48:39 AM) MisterBixby: I love that you’re getting frustrated with ME
(10:49:18 AM) MisterBixby: OK. We’ll watch together. I have all six movies. We will have a weekend long Star Wars A Thon.
(10:49:56 AM) MisterBixby: you tell me when you see the cat people and when Padme’s spirit leaves her body and enters Leah’s already living (thus already ensouled) body.
(10:52:17 AM) MisterBixby: Cat person? http://www.asquaredconcepts.com/costumes/tusken_raider.html
(10:54:06 AM) MisterBixby: you there?
(10:54:32 AM) Daisy the Fairy: one sec
(10:55:02 AM) MisterBixby: ok
(10:55:38 AM) Daisy the Fairy: how do u save the convo I want to send to cris SHe will back me up!!
(10:55:49 AM) Daisy the Fairy: or email it to her if u saved
(10:56:11 AM) Daisy the Fairy: YES thsoe are cat peopel!!
(10:56:18 AM) MisterBixby: Click in the window and hit CTRL-A and then CTRL-C then click in your new email and hit CTRL-V
(10:56:29 AM) MisterBixby: OK, those are SAND people and in no way are they cats
(10:57:25 AM) MisterBixby: Also … I have to go back to this … “no im sure I can picture it its Luke AND lAURA”

Luke and Laura was GENERAL HOSPITAL!
(10:58:33 AM) Daisy the Fairy: Oh
(10:58:34 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yeah
(10:58:42 AM) MisterBixby: hehe
(10:58:43 AM) Daisy the Fairy: well thats true
(10:58:46 AM) MisterBixby: <3
(10:58:57 AM) Daisy the Fairy: heart too:D
(10:59:31 AM) MisterBixby: OK, we have to change the subject. I can’t take this anymore! We will watch the movies and we’ll see who was right. OK?
(11:00:16 AM) MisterBixby: I can’t believe you got me to spell Leia as Leah … I’m losing my brain
(11:00:37 AM) MisterBixby: I’m posting this now.
(11:00:52 AM) Daisy the Fairy: brat!!!
(11:01:03 AM) Daisy the Fairy: but everyuone wills ay I’m right anyway!!1
(11:01:23 AM) MisterBixby: I’m sure they will
(11:01:30 AM) Daisy the Fairy: ficx my typos at least
(11:18:07 AM) MisterBixby: nope. I didn’t fix mine either
(11:18:18 AM) MisterBixby: I guess I could …
(11:18:22 AM) MisterBixby: except the names.
(11:23:42 AM) MisterBixby: I’m fixing the spacing typos (where the last letter of one words gets pushed tot he front of the next word instead.

As I said, I know at some point she decided to just play it up, and try to get my goat, but to be honest, I was having too damn much fun! I hope you laughed as hard as I did!

Check out the trailer and anticipate along with me!

Big Players

Google can always be relied on to come up with a good one. This year has a full running theme. Google created CADIE, the Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entit, basically an AI that they let have access to the Internet. She very quickly created her own Blogger blog, Youtube Channel and Google Earth presence. In addition, she now enables Google to provide all kinds of AI-assisted services like GMail AutoPilot (including gChat), Google Docs making lazing your way through that dreaded project all the easier, see the Ocean Floor, and See your favorite websites in 3D (I’m astounded that the Real-Time Anaglyph actually works, and me without my 3D glasses – The ones I printed out seem to be defective). Very well done, Google. Well Done Indeed! I may have missed some of their other, smaller Lab tools. If I find more, I’ll update. UPDATE: I didn’t see this one because I’m not a code monkey: Cadie will help you write your code, although she has a startling predliction for INTERCAL. It’s worth your time to read through the source code and the INTERCAL style guide. Also, she has kindly added Auto-RedEye technology to Picasa. That CADIE sure is helpful! Nothing on Orkut though. Am I missing any more Google products?

UPDATE: CADIE has been updating various bits of Google all day. She got Google Books where she picked out some good ones, Google Knowledge which she took over and only allowed articles on AI and neural nets, and Google Images.  CADIE can also help you remember anything you’ve forgotten with a simple Google Mobile app. Sadly, it seems the world is just not ready for CADIE (numbers don’t lie). She said Goodbye tonight at about 7:00. Her brief but sweet blog tells her whole story. Goodbye CADIE we’ll miss you. (Full CADIEness can be found at Wikipedia, of course).

Fark, ever a leader in Web Snarkery, has a new interface called the New Fark Experience. It’s really a breathtaking sight to behold. Of course, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so nice of Reddit (Reddigg, rather?) to be one Bold, Web2.0 Iteration behind.

Every year, Thinkgeek comes out with new April 1 products that are at the very least funny, but there’s always at least one that I really want them to find a way to make. This year, it is the Tauntaun sleeping bag. Not only do I want it to be real, I want it in ADULT size! Of course, there would need to be a two-person version so you can dutch oven your mate and make the obligatory “I thought they smelled bad on the OUTSIDE!” joke. The Squeez Bacon, on the other hand, frankly frightens the pants off me! And panstless me probably will make you want a Unicorn Chaser.

I’m still not sure that the new Facebook isn’t some elaborate early-deployment April Fool’s Day gag.

I’m peeved that I missed out on woot.com‘s Random Bag of Crap today though. Ah, well, I’m sure I couldn’t have afforded the shipping.

I don’t know how I forgot to look at YouTube before I made the first post. They have a new layout! FYI, I picked the video from the main page because, even viewed normally it is freaky as hell and it is NOT improved by the new layout. Trippy man … Better than being RickRoll’d on every front page video.

Webcomics

Unfortunate news for all those fans who hoped to see Starslip‘s Kris Straub at Emerald City ComicCon this year. Damn that MarconiCon!

Jenn Dolari at Closetspace and A Wish for Wings gave her homepage of dolari.net a much-needed makeover.

David Willis has ended ShortPacked and is relaunching Roomies, his original strip.

Bloggers

After months of lambasting Glenn Beck for his histrionics, Moxie declares she’ll be appearing on his show tonight to make amends. The Snark is strong with this one.

The Bad Astronomer passes along a new series of pics from the Martian Rovers. I hope the line isn’t too long. The ride looks like it is worth it, though.

NASA‘s Astronomy Pic of the Day sort of qualifies, if only for the caption.

The Consumerist has a new reader-attraction scheme. Cats and Cake, baby!

LifeHacker finally solves the problem of short URLS.

I guess this now fits under the Blogger header. The London Guardian is switching to a Twitter-only format!

Others

Don’t forget to get your new copy of Nine Inch Nails‘ new album, Strobe Light (epileptics should not click this link).

Wizards of the Coast is usually pretty decent for 4/1. Today’s D&D gag seems a little too inside baseball. The MTG gag (amongst a few small ones on the main page) pales in comparison to last year’s Pirates Vs. Ninjas Announcement.

Tired of your dog always bugging you for his turn on the computer? Toshiba has come to your rescue!

Tor.com has the latest news on the saddest geek-happening in days. And he was JUST starting to hit his stride too. CURSE YOU FOX!

Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for is here: GROUNDHOG DAY THE MUSICAL!

BMW has a new innovation in energy efficiency. Be efficient while the other guy expends his energy!

That’s all I’ve got so far. Check your RSS feeds or this post for more as I find them.

I love April Fool’s Day. It’s just fun seeing clever people put forth a lot of effort for no other reason than my enjoyment. Eric Burns-White of Websnark has more to say.

Hope you all enjoyed April 1st as much as I did!

They have become huge fans of Batman: Brave and the Bold (B:BatB) and watch them on our DVR quite often. Tonight, during dinner, they wanted to watch The Eyes of Despero, which features the Green Lantern Corps. Lois, my younger daughter, proudly informed older sister Lana that the one Green Lantern not affected by Despero’s mind control was Hal Jordan.

They are also extraordinarily fascinated by the lead-in to Blackest Night, insofar as the emotional spectrum and 8 Lantern Corps are concerned. I don’t let them read the books, but in a conversation with Lois about why there was a Red Arrow AND a Green Arrow and why there wasn’t also a Blue, Yellow or Purple Arrow, Bat-Mom remembered the goings-on in Green Lantern and Green Lantern Corps, and asked me to tell them about the new Lantern Corps colors.

They love the idea. They’ve pretty well matched up the colors with the emotions and have asked me to read them all of the Oaths on multiple occasions. Thanks to B:BatB, Lana can almost recite the GL Oath from memory (excuse me, there must be a lot of pollen in the air, I must have something in my eye).

They wanted more information, so instead of the usual bedtime story, we wound up on Green Lantern Wiki, where I got to show them G’Nort from the books (he features prominently in the B:BatB episode), Hal Jordan, Kyle Rayner and I got to explain why Rot Lop Fan is the only member of the F-Sharp Bell Corps.

What they were most fascinated by, though, was the various Power Rings and emblems of the different Corps.

I love moments like these. Does a geek heart proud!

UPDATE: I just found out from Bat-Mom that Lois has been watching B:BatB on nearly constant rotation. YAY!

The headline for this thread reads:

Youngish TFette has no comprehension what her adult life would be like without the internet or computer technology. Describe your pre-internet life.

The comments are uncharacteristically straightforward (albeit a little whimsical) and triggered flashbacks to a time before cell phones, ubiquitous cable TV, digital media as a term, much less a delivery system and the omnipresence of computers. There’s a sense of patient explanation of one generation’s world to another generation.

Then, the next day, the inimitable Wil Wheaton published The Week in Review: The Musical Future, in which he discusses his astonishment at the difference between how he collected music when he was 15 and how he and his sons do so now.

In reading through the Fark thread, I began to wonder what it is that my children will tell my grandchildren about how different things were and how difficult they had it. My daughters have never lived in a house without an internet-connected computer in the living room. They have never had fewer than 200 channels to choose from. They have never had to worry that a CD was the sole source of a particular song because the computer had backups of that media. They have always been able to reach my wife and I via cell phone when we’re out of the house (not that they call us, but we’re always available). They have always been able to see pictures taken of or by them seconds after the flash fades. They are 7 and 5. In the time they’ve been alive, we have changed progressed through two full generations of video game console.

I can compare my analog childhood with their digital one. I know the difference between VHF and UHF and the exquisite pain of tuning a TV station. I know the satisfying click that a TV dial makes when it changes channels. I’ve watched I Love Lucy, the Three Stooges, M*A*S*H and Mr. Ed because those were simply the only thing that were on on a Saturday afternoon after the Saturday Morning Cartoons had ended. Like Mr. Wheaton, I know what it means to flip to the other side to hear the rest of the album, whether it be cassette or record. I have sat with my finger anxiously over the pause button on the VCR remote to try to tape a movie from TV and excise the commercials. I have used a card catalog. I know what a card catalog even is.

At only 30 years old, I stand with my feet astride a boundary between the technological age of my parents and the information age of my children. The rate of information growth and processing are growing exponentially (literally – see Moore’s Law), so technology changes and improves faster today than it did when I was a kid. VCR was the standard home video format for something like 15 or 20 years. Then DVD hit mainstreamin the late 90s and reigned for less than a decade before being superceded by Blu-Ray and the short-lived HD-DVD. Vinyl was king for 60 years. SIXTY YEARS! It was supplemented by 8-track and cassette, but vinyl ruled them all. Then Compact Disks came along in the later ’80s and redefined fidelity. Now the very idea of physical media for music is fighting for survival. MP3 provides the same quality as CD and is infinitely more portable. I was 16 before I first connected to the Internet at blistering 14.4 Kbps. Now it’s a daily part of my life and lets me talk to anyone who might stumble by my neck of the cyber-woods.

When my dad was growing up, certain things were consistent and reliable for his whole youth. The biggest innovation in my dad’s pre-30 years might have been the advent of color TV or the VCR, but those were more than a decade apart; even after introduction, there was time to adjust to something before the next big innovation. Now, it feels like the next new big thing is introduced before you’ve thrown the box out for the previous new big thing.

My vintage-1978 brain still feels flexible enough to adapt to new technology for now. Cell phones are starting to make me gnash false teeth and scream for these damn kids with their internet devices to get off my CDMA lawn, though.

Will my daughters regale their unimpressed children with tales of how when they wanted to go online, they had sit (!) at a computer (‘what’s a computer?’), and click on a link (‘what’s a link?’) and load the page at a measly 6 Mbps (‘How many Mbps in a Terabit per second and what do you mean ‘load’?').

Standing outside my house and looking around, the Earth seems no different than when I was a kid. The grass is still green, the trees are still tall, majestic and made of raw wood, the sky is still blue and the clouds white. Then my cell phone notifies me that I got an SMS message from a friend pointing me to a website I’ve just got to see right now because they have all the latest spoilers on the movie I’m dying to see, so I click the link and read the news on my phone, not having left the spot, as I have a conversation with my friend, without speaking or hearing his voice, while the breeze blows by, stirring the faint memory of my analog childhood.

It was all inspired by this post: Stolen Thunder about how I felt short-changed by not being able to introduce my girls to the prequels since I had gotten to do so with the Original Trilogy.

We settled in and fired ourselves from the Star Wars canon, on Valentine’s Day of all days: Happy Valentine’s Day

We got through the Phantom Menace and began Episode II: Valentine’s Day – Episode II

Yoda’s fight with Dooku made quite the impression on Lana: End of Star Wars-a-thon Day 1

Of course, I had a few more thoughts: Star Wars-a-thon Day 1 Addendum

For Day 2, we began with the darkest of all 6 films: Star Wars-a-thon Day 2.

It started off quite well, as there is a great deal of Artoo-generated humor in the first act and a half: Episode III – cont’d

And then it all went downhill: Ep. III – Help me Obi-Wan, you’re our only hope!

No more blogging for Day 2, as the girls watched Episode IV without me and, according to BatMom, they have seen it so often that it is basically comfort food. They are happy it’s on, but also happy to be doing other things.

So began Day 3, with the the least watched of all three original films (at least by my girls): Star Wars-a-thon Day III – It begins

At this point, the blogging kind of devolves to anecdotal observations by the girls and myself: Day III – cont’d

Star Wars-a-thon Day III: Intermission

I did get a little mean with a Sex in the City chick, but I’m not the one who put the pic together: Star Wars-a-thon Day III – Ep. VI

Star Wars-a-thon Day III – conclusion

I hope you all enjoyed this journey with my family and me. I’d love to hear from other geeks who do similar “a-thons” with their Geeklings. And I don’t care what anyone says, I still proudly love the Ewoks. I don’t even care if they ARE the Jar Jar Binks of my generation. They’re adorable. Jar Jar is freaky! SO THERE! *ahem* Sorry folks. Lost control to my inner 8-year-old there.

This was one of my more enjoyable Valentine’s Days and certainly my favorite Presidents’ Day of all time!

Death Star II’s Main Power Core and Master Control Program’s Core, separated at birth? Discuss.

Death Star blows up, millions killed. Celebration on Endor is a fantasy. Read the Real Truth! Galactic Republic Senate investigations will begin soon. Read more here

I really miss the old Yub Nub song.

Since Anakin was redeemed as an old man, WHY would Lucas replace the old man ghost with Hayden Christianson’s ghost?

I really, REALLY miss the old Yub Nub song.

This has been a wonderful Geek Family weekend. I loved sharing these experiences with my kids. Now to figure out how to get them into Star Trek. I don’t own any of the series, and only the NextGen movies. Maybe they need a few years to be ready for all of it? That would give me time to acquire them all. What’s funny is that I’ve always been a Star Trekite, but thanks to Lucas’ epic high roll in “Merchandising” and “Brand Tie-in” I have raised a couple of Star Warsians. Ah well.

Both girls loved the Star Wars-a-thon.

Han: “I think my eyesight is getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.”
Luke: “There’s nothing to see. I used to live here, you know.”
Han: “You’re going to die here, you know. Convenient.”

A moment of silence, please, for the many Bothans who died to bring us this information.