Best Interpretation of Star Wars EVAR

I know this is a parenting blog. And I know that it ISN’T a Star Wars blog, but I can’t help but post this conversation between a friend and I over IM. This actually happened. I know that at least most of this is legitimate, but I think she started playing up her end toward the end. In any event, I know it isn’t all made up because this is the same woman who told me her husband’s Boba Fett bust was Darth Vader, so knowledgeable, she isn’t.

In the context of a different conversation, I off-hand mentioned Obi-Wan. This led to the most unintentionally funny interpretation of Star Wars I’ve ever heard (funnier even than than the one I posted before). Please know that I don’t post this out of malice, but because it is funny, and that I don’t think she’s not intelligent or anything just because she misremembers Star Wars. I know a lot of geeks who would think that way, but I want it clear that I’m not one of them. Enjoy. (reposted from my facebook)

(10:00:56 AM) MisterBixby: no, but thank you. I think I need to walk this path on my own
(10:01:04 AM) MisterBixby: without an Obi-Wan for a while
(10:01:16 AM) Daisy the Fairy: Obiones are GOOD
(10:01:46 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yodas are good look how wis eYoda was and he told hans solo and princess leah and darth all how to live and be happy!!
(10:02:10 AM) MisterBixby: ??? He never talked to han solo or princess leia
(10:02:22 AM) Daisy the Fairy: oh?
(10:02:31 AM) Daisy the Fairy: im sure he did at soem point
(10:02:31 AM) MisterBixby: no hehe
(10:02:43 AM) Daisy the Fairy: in 4 movies they crossed paths somewhere!!
(10:02:53 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and he imparted his little green wisdom
(10:03:32 AM) Daisy the Fairy: YES because in that one movie he showed hans solo how to sword fight and called him grasshopper whcih I thought was weird caus HE is the green one
(10:03:35 AM) MisterBixby: … Han and Leia were in three movies, only two of which contained Yoda, who never left Dagobah, while Leia and Han never went to Dagobah
(10:03:46 AM) MisterBixby: ok, now you’re putting me on!
(10:04:22 AM) Daisy the Fairy: huh?
(10:04:41 AM) MisterBixby: goofball
(10:04:49 AM) MisterBixby: have you ever even seen the movies?
(10:05:41 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yes!!
(10:06:19 AM) Daisy the Fairy: except the last one in the catch up ones where hans goes all the way darth
(10:06:23 AM) Daisy the Fairy: not that one
(10:06:27 AM) Daisy the Fairy: but the others !!
(10:06:35 AM) Daisy the Fairy: i even went to a CONVENTION
(10:06:50 AM) Daisy the Fairy: it was my first vacation with jay
(10:06:52 AM) MisterBixby: ok … you know that han solo is not darth vader right? Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker…
(10:07:16 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and we left halfway through cause ror and mark were just standing in line all day waiting for autograhs
(10:07:23 AM) MisterBixby: I think you meant that Yoda told Anakin and Padme (Luke and Leia’s parents) how to be happy
(10:07:46 AM) Daisy the Fairy: right but anikan grew up to be hans solo and then by soem dark magick he turned into darth right?
(10:08:05 AM) MisterBixby: wow… no
(10:08:10 AM) Daisy the Fairy: no?
(10:08:13 AM) MisterBixby: no
(10:08:21 AM) MisterBixby: Han Solo is half his age.
(10:08:30 AM) MisterBixby: well, a little more than half.
(10:08:37 AM) MisterBixby: He’s a friend of Darth Vader’s SON
(10:08:59 AM) Daisy the Fairy: well then ..huh.. who did hans solo turn into/
(10:09:18 AM) MisterBixby: Han Solo
(10:09:30 AM) MisterBixby: Not HANS. It’s HAN
(10:09:37 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and what happened to annikan, annikan is that little boy who was princess leahs son right?
(10:09:39 AM) MisterBixby: Are you kidding me with all of this?
(10:09:43 AM) Daisy the Fairy: ?
(10:09:52 AM) MisterBixby: seriously!
(10:09:59 AM) MisterBixby: Princess Leia doesn’t have a son
(10:10:09 AM) MisterBixby: not in the movies anyway
(10:10:21 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yes little anikan!!
(10:10:40 AM) MisterBixby: you know that the three movies that came out in the 90s are PREQUELS to the ones that came out in the 70s, right? They happened BEFORE the Luke and Leia movies?
(10:11:19 AM) Daisy the Fairy: because princess Leah got killed by thos monsters in a tent after her pplanet blew up
(10:11:32 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and then somehow she was back.. how did hat happen?
(10:13:44 AM) MisterBixby: Little Anakin grows up to be Anakin, who falls in love with Padme. Anakin falls to the dark side after getting Padme pregnant. Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Padme dies in childbirth after giving birth to Luke and Leia. Luke is sent to be raised by his uncle, Leia is raised as a princess on another planet. Vader doesn’t know he has children. Luke grows up on Tattooine and meets Obi-Wan who trains him in the force, and begins to teach him how to become a Jedi. Luke and Obi-Wan meet Han Solo and Chewbacca and they all rescue Princess Leia. Luke then learns that Vader is his father. He goes to finish his training with Yoda. Then Luke redeems his father, reverting him to Anakin and they kill the emporer
(10:14:01 AM) MisterBixby: That was Shmi, Anakin’s Mother.
(10:14:03 AM) MisterBixby: NOT LEIA
(10:14:12 AM) MisterBixby: Who is Anakin’s DAUGHTER
(10:14:17 AM) MisterBixby: you are serious?
(10:14:19 AM) MisterBixby: really?
(10:17:46 AM) Daisy the Fairy: wait no THAtS all wrong maybe we are talking about a different star wars movie??
(10:18:14 AM) MisterBixby: HAHAHA ROFLMAO!
(10:19:55 AM) Daisy the Fairy: seriously
(10:20:01 AM) Daisy the Fairy: i remeber it all different
(10:20:03 AM) Daisy the Fairy: huh
(10:20:22 AM) Daisy the Fairy: whos padme ?
(10:20:47 AM) Daisy the Fairy: was she the young version of princess leah? natalie portman one with the hats?
(10:20:50 AM) MisterBixby: The girl that little Anakin loves…
(10:21:07 AM) MisterBixby: Yes, Natalie Portman (IS NOT THE YOUNG VERSION OF LEIA!)
(10:21:14 AM) Daisy the Fairy: uh huh
(10:21:23 AM) MisterBixby: She’s Leia’s MOTHER!
(10:22:13 AM) Daisy the Fairy: iwhat? no leah was an orophan??
(10:22:30 AM) MisterBixby: OK, I know that it may not be nice, but I am DYING here! This is like me trying to describe the pantheon of pagan deities to you. I know names, but have NO idea who they relate to
(10:22:31 AM) Daisy the Fairy: she does not ahve a mother she was rAISED BY THOSE CUTE ROBOTS
(10:22:42 AM) MisterBixby: OMFG
(10:23:27 AM) MisterBixby: no, she was raised by Bail Organa on Alderaan. She owns R2-D2 and C-3PO
(10:23:41 AM) Daisy the Fairy: AND THAT LUKE HE WAS RAISED IN A BAR THAT WHARE HANS SOL FOUND HIM.. i REMEBER thaT SCEANE
(10:23:59 AM) Daisy the Fairy: THERE WA SA BRAWL
(10:24:11 AM) Daisy the Fairy: WE HAD A LITTLE ACTION FIGRE SET UP AT HOME
(10:24:33 AM) MisterBixby: Luke was raised on a moisture farm (on a desert planet they have to extract water on farms) and he GOES TO a bar, with Obi-Wan and that’s where they meet Han Solo. (NOT HANSSSS)
(10:25:20 AM) Daisy the Fairy: no thats not right…
(10:25:35 AM) MisterBixby: yes. yes it is
(10:26:25 AM) Daisy the Fairy: nooooo..ohh wait yes it is
(10:26:41 AM) Daisy the Fairy: because he fell from the sky right? cause HIS planet exploded
(10:26:50 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and his mom sent hm away like moses
(10:26:54 AM) Daisy the Fairy: whoosh
(10:26:59 AM) Daisy the Fairy: I remeber now!!!
(10:27:23 AM) Daisy the Fairy: so the farmers were his adopted parents
(10:27:46 AM) MisterBixby: fell from the sky? What movie did you see?!
(10:28:11 AM) MisterBixby: Just so you know. I am SAVING this conversation and WILL BE sharing it with Jason the very next time I see him
(10:29:18 AM) Daisy the Fairy: no remebr that the planet expoded and his mom sent him off on a rocket??
(10:29:31 AM) MisterBixby: That’s SUPERMAN!
(10:29:35 AM) Daisy the Fairy: huh?
(10:29:39 AM) Daisy the Fairy: is it?
(10:29:51 AM) Daisy the Fairy: no im sure I can picture it its Luke AND lAURA
(10:29:59 AM) MisterBixby: yes. Krypton exploded, his parents sent him to Earth in a rocket.
(10:30:11 AM) MisterBixby: No, it is Jor-El and Lara.
(10:30:21 AM) Daisy the Fairy: HUH
(10:30:24 AM) Daisy the Fairy: WELL..
(10:30:24 AM) MisterBixby: Lots of shimmery silver? White hair?
(10:30:37 AM) Daisy the Fairy: BUT lUCKE WAS STILl ADOPTED AND RAISE DIN A BAR YOU said
(10:30:43 AM) Daisy the Fairy: YEAH AND A SWORD
(10:31:51 AM) MisterBixby: he was NOT raised in a bar, he was raised on a farm
(10:32:18 AM) Daisy the Fairy: I think it was a bar hun i REMEBER the fight sceane with all those one eyed desert catpeople???
(10:32:24 AM) Daisy the Fairy: i think they raised him no?
(10:32:46 AM) MisterBixby: WTF?
(10:32:59 AM) MisterBixby: No. nothing like that happene.d
(10:33:42 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yeah.. those catpeople
(10:34:02 AM) MisterBixby: there are no cat people
(10:35:45 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yes there are they massacre people all over the place they have glowy cat eyes
(10:36:16 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and they killed Leah that first time when she was annikans mom???DUH!
(10:36:38 AM) MisterBixby: Leah was never anakin’s mom
(10:36:42 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and apprently raised Luke in that bar
(10:36:49 AM) MisterBixby: you’re killing me
(10:37:27 AM) Daisy the Fairy: well i dont know I think maybe I watched a different version. was there ever a remake??
(10:37:47 AM) MisterBixby: no
(10:37:49 AM) MisterBixby: never a remake
(10:37:58 AM) MisterBixby: there are six movies
(10:38:01 AM) Daisy the Fairy: maybe there was one you don’t KNOW about???
(10:38:28 AM) MisterBixby: you have somehow morphed all of them into some crazy time-travel resurrection cat-people superhero space adventure movie
(10:38:30 AM) Daisy the Fairy: well I don’t know how you could have had it all wrong
(10:38:41 AM) MisterBixby: ROFLMAO!
(10:39:03 AM) Daisy the Fairy: seriously well art is open to interprtation
(10:39:08 AM) Daisy the Fairy: :p
(10:39:10 AM) MisterBixby: There are NO Star Wars movies I don’t know about
(10:39:20 AM) MisterBixby: THIS IS NOT INTERPRETATION! THIS IS JUST WRONG!
(10:39:24 AM) Daisy the Fairy: there might be
(10:39:43 AM) MisterBixby: no.
(10:39:47 AM) MisterBixby: no there isn’t
(10:39:50 AM) MisterBixby:
(10:39:56 AM) Daisy the Fairy: Could be
(10:40:12 AM) MisterBixby: trust me on this, please. There are not star wars movies I don’t know about
(10:40:30 AM) Daisy the Fairy: Someone could ahve made an INDEPENDANT star wars movie,
(10:40:45 AM) MisterBixby: honey …. no
(10:40:49 AM) Daisy the Fairy: maybe we got a bootleg copy!!
(10:40:59 AM) MisterBixby: OMG
(10:41:10 AM) MisterBixby: I’m calling Jason. Give me his number. This is crazy talk
(10:41:52 AM) Daisy the Fairy: ########## dont post his # he wuill back me up
(10:42:16 AM) MisterBixby: I’m kidding. I’m not going to call him… But I AM sending him this conversation
(10:42:33 AM) Daisy the Fairy: hell back me up!!
(10:42:43 AM) MisterBixby: I can’t wait to hear it
(10:42:48 AM) Daisy the Fairy: i swear you are all wrong on this
(10:43:06 AM) Daisy the Fairy: So much of star wars was about reincarnation and resserection
(10:43:12 AM) MisterBixby: OK. I eagerly wait the illuminating light of knowledge
(10:43:22 AM) Daisy the Fairy: I can’t believe you missed those very importent themes
(10:43:31 AM) Daisy the Fairy: :-*
(10:43:45 AM) MisterBixby: Not reincarnation and no one ever gets ressurrected, although they do talk to the ghosts of the dead
(10:43:53 AM) Daisy the Fairy: SEEEE??
(10:44:11 AM) Daisy the Fairy: szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! that is me doing that sizzle finger thing!
(10:44:17 AM) Daisy the Fairy: cause I scored!!
(10:44:21 AM) MisterBixby: All six movies are the story of a fallen hero and his redemption
(10:44:33 AM) MisterBixby: no one is ressurrected. How did you score?
(10:44:53 AM) Daisy the Fairy: I was right
(10:45:02 AM) MisterBixby: about what?
(10:45:21 AM) Daisy the Fairy: reincarnation
(10:45:25 AM) MisterBixby: There is nothing in this conversation that you have been right about
(10:45:32 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yuh huh!
(10:45:43 AM) MisterBixby: reincarnation is the same spirit in a new body. That never happens anywhere in these movies
(10:47:02 AM) Daisy the Fairy: YES! the whole Leah Pattyme thing
(10:47:05 AM) Daisy the Fairy: and luke!!
(10:47:47 AM) MisterBixby: Leah and Padme are NOT the same person
(10:47:56 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yes they are too
(10:48:00 AM) MisterBixby: Leah was born before Padme died.
(10:48:04 AM) Daisy the Fairy: nah
(10:48:14 AM) MisterBixby: @WHAT DO YOU MEAN “NAH”?!
(10:48:16 AM) MisterBixby: YES!
(10:48:19 AM) Daisy the Fairy: NO!
(10:48:22 AM) MisterBixby: Padme is Leah’s MOTHER
(10:48:30 AM) Daisy the Fairy: oh for heavens sake
(10:48:36 AM) Daisy the Fairy: you need to rewatch i think
(10:48:39 AM) MisterBixby: I love that you’re getting frustrated with ME
(10:49:18 AM) MisterBixby: OK. We’ll watch together. I have all six movies. We will have a weekend long Star Wars A Thon.
(10:49:56 AM) MisterBixby: you tell me when you see the cat people and when Padme’s spirit leaves her body and enters Leah’s already living (thus already ensouled) body.
(10:52:17 AM) MisterBixby: Cat person? http://www.asquaredconcepts.com/costumes/tusken_raider.html
(10:54:06 AM) MisterBixby: you there?
(10:54:32 AM) Daisy the Fairy: one sec
(10:55:02 AM) MisterBixby: ok
(10:55:38 AM) Daisy the Fairy: how do u save the convo I want to send to cris SHe will back me up!!
(10:55:49 AM) Daisy the Fairy: or email it to her if u saved
(10:56:11 AM) Daisy the Fairy: YES thsoe are cat peopel!!
(10:56:18 AM) MisterBixby: Click in the window and hit CTRL-A and then CTRL-C then click in your new email and hit CTRL-V
(10:56:29 AM) MisterBixby: OK, those are SAND people and in no way are they cats
(10:57:25 AM) MisterBixby: Also … I have to go back to this … “no im sure I can picture it its Luke AND lAURA”

Luke and Laura was GENERAL HOSPITAL!
(10:58:33 AM) Daisy the Fairy: Oh
(10:58:34 AM) Daisy the Fairy: yeah
(10:58:42 AM) MisterBixby: hehe
(10:58:43 AM) Daisy the Fairy: well thats true
(10:58:46 AM) MisterBixby: <3
(10:58:57 AM) Daisy the Fairy: heart too:D
(10:59:31 AM) MisterBixby: OK, we have to change the subject. I can’t take this anymore! We will watch the movies and we’ll see who was right. OK?
(11:00:16 AM) MisterBixby: I can’t believe you got me to spell Leia as Leah … I’m losing my brain
(11:00:37 AM) MisterBixby: I’m posting this now.
(11:00:52 AM) Daisy the Fairy: brat!!!
(11:01:03 AM) Daisy the Fairy: but everyuone wills ay I’m right anyway!!1
(11:01:23 AM) MisterBixby: I’m sure they will
(11:01:30 AM) Daisy the Fairy: ficx my typos at least
(11:18:07 AM) MisterBixby: nope. I didn’t fix mine either
(11:18:18 AM) MisterBixby: I guess I could …
(11:18:22 AM) MisterBixby: except the names.
(11:23:42 AM) MisterBixby: I’m fixing the spacing typos (where the last letter of one words gets pushed tot he front of the next word instead.

As I said, I know at some point she decided to just play it up, and try to get my goat, but to be honest, I was having too damn much fun! I hope you laughed as hard as I did!